To Reconcile a Friendship.

79714-True-FriendsThis came to me from a friend who was also sent this question in a Facebook discussion. Say what you will about social media but there are many times one can find amazing food for thought and sometimes very timely as I am having personal struggles with people I don’t want to cut from my life but feel it might be time. Some I feel have hurt me to the point I just want their presence to vanish, while others I’m confused as to where things went wrong and if reconciliation is even an option. But while forgiveness is hard, reconciliation is harder, and which one really is best?

I think the easiest answer would lean towards forgiveness. With forgiveness, it’s not really for the other person as much as it is for yourself. Holding on to anger and resentment puts a lot of stress and pressure on the body. Why hold on to negative emotions if in truth the aim is to be done with the source of those emotions? Forgiveness allows you to release their hold on your spirit and gives you the freedom and space to finally move on. It’s the moving on that tends to hold people up from forgiving, as what they might be moving onto could be undesirable. But while I can forgive because it’s healthy for me, I’m having trouble reconciling my feelings about theses situation and what position I want them in after the forgiveness has taken place within.

I love my life and being WOKE. I feel I have seen a little bit of the Universe’s plan and understand a bit of the logic. When that happened, I saw the energy of people and when it switched depending on the situation. I saw their hope when they spoke about popcorn just as much as when they spoke about their careers. It’s just a funny thing being WOKE because all I want to do is wake up everyone else. I can’t stand for my friends to continue to miss the lessons, messages, and signs the Universe is constantly throwing at them. Again, my blog is all about those jewels that present themselves all the time; it’s important for us to be mindful and interrupt them correctly. Lucky for us, the Universe is pretty persistent and wants us to succeed. unknown-author-boarder-true-friends-bad-face-3s7tMy blog also follows when I decide not to pay attention, thinking I know better some of the time but truly wanting to push the limits of life for the most part, which gives me great writing material but a tough life in the long run. So yes, I’m failable and okay with that but none of that means I don’t have an opinion with my own wisdoms that can and does help a lot of people (Sorry someone came at me over my credentials, it’s call life).

So now I’m in the position to be the bigger person as I am the WOKE one. I have to put my ego aside every time because being WOKE gives me the understanding that it’s okay to apologize. Being WOKE puts ego to the side because being WOKE  makes you aware of how useless ego and pride are. In being WOKE, I see deeper as to why things are the way they are using my experiences and my practice as a guide. In being WOKE, I continue to study people and situations, so my response is appropriate but also my growth continues. In being WOKE, every day isn’t a success in those areas but every day is a day to learn and recalibrate as needed. But being WOKE doesn’t stop me from wanting to act in a petty and childish way, which is where I am struggling now.

I have many people I call friend. If I know you and we have had dinner and drinks, talked about my past, talked about yours and can call and talk about your family all the way to the snot bubble coming out of my nose, we are friends. I feel friends know each other so it becomes an issue when one friend wants you to accept them for all their faults but not the reverse. I struggle with double standards and hypocrisy, but my other WOKE friends say to me, ” tough shit”. I’m the WOKE one and as such, I have to see beyond the hypocrisy and let go. I have a hard time letting go when I feel things are simple and spelled out. Friendship to me is one such area but I’m truly finding I’m very wrong in my expectations and putting them upon others that are my friends the only way they know how.

FriendshipSo now I reconcile my vision of what I feel it should be for what really is. I appreciate my WOKE friends but also those that aren’t. I still receive a lot of wisdom from those still in the Matrix even though they might not know the full extent of the knowledge pool they have inside them. What I was fortunate to receive was permission. It’s okay to “lose” a fight to gain back your loved ones. Ego and pride always have us yelling louder to be heard but sometimes one can deafen another with silence. As I am WOKE, I have to accept what those closest to me present of themselves if I am to keep them in my lives. They need to feel whole and as though they can be themselves without me putting expectations on what they are offering. To me, it still feels like they get to be heard and authentic, which is pride and ego still trying to survive within me. I’m just glad I have friends and awareness to keep me on they right track and my loving friends beside me.

 

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