I am a good person. I should just end the post there, but I’m also a person that is super loquacious and wordy with my long post so lets just embrace who I am. Just to reiterate, I am a good person. I bend over backwards for my friends and loved ones, I cry watching the news, at uplifting movements in film and print, and I smile at strangers. I like being kind and loving, but some don’t believe my good nature. As a youth ( and twenty-something adult) I wasn’t so nice; what most don’t understand is how that was the mask I was wearing to protect this good nature that has always been part of me. So what does a brotha have to do to show everyone that good isn’t an archaic concept?
I smile all the time. While most selfies are giving you model realness ( scowls and not smiles), I cheese like I just won a new car. I get compliments on my smile, which I always reply is because it’s just in me ( and the dental work in my teenage years). My new great-niece smiles at everyone, which in turn makes me smile and really look deep at my family who also just loves to smile all the time. Happiness can be created but it’s truest when it comes from the soul. I come from a good line of happy, optimist, and loving people, but that didn’t stop me from feeling ashamed about it for a time and hiding it from the world.
Who would be ashamed to be happy and good? Have you been paying attention? No one trust the happy. Most can’t believe people actual do things out of kindness with no ulterior motive. Most are just waiting for the other shoe to drop even with all evidence pointing to the contrary. Others, are so jaded they just don’t want those smiling, happy people around them because it shines a light on their on gloomy perspective. I took on all of those feelings growing up, deciding it was better to go with the masses and not trust other people like me existed. I only revealed my good nature when I felt the ghost was clear, and I wouldn’t be slammed for being joyous. You have no idea how angry I am currently getting as I realize what I did in the past. But there lies the problem..the past.
People just aren’t born distrustful; it is something that is taught to us like racism and hate in general. I wish I could remember the study I read about infants, and whether we are born with love, hate, or indifference. The results boiled down to us having both in us, but how infants and children mimic what they see and are taught. I have always believed this, and I have no doubt most people do as well. We are taught to hate and be distrustful, and being in our adult years, these habits are so hard to break. What I found most interested about my path is I was taught love and joy, briefly went against those teaching to embrace the pessimist and guarded masses, and found nothing but anguish and pain leading my back home to my good nature. And really, how many times have we looked at the innocence and joy children have and wish we could embrace those feelings again? Guess what, we can.
While it might be a daunting task, we can live life as a happy child with our adult mind still intact. We can decide to be happy as we were, and trust only being on guard with present indicators and not the past. While I understand feeling like good people are extinct or at least dying off, I come in contact more and more with positive people I feel, because I am now embracing that joyous energy that is in the world. I’m not going to get into The Secret ( it really has worked for me ), but I believe most are aware and have experienced like attracting like. If your energy, thoughts and action are screaming out for joy and positivity, joy and positivity will scream back and come running to you. It’s about setting the tone and intention of your life.
I mainly wrote this blog because I was fed up with people expecting the worst in me. Some knew me before I embraced Buddhism and my Buddha nature as fully as I do today, but most were strangers, hurting from the past and distrustful. I pretty much have been just angry about it because I knew I was not giving them cause. They would try to dissect my meanings even when I tell people I don’t deal in sarcasm as my first, second, or third language, and mean exactly what I say ( except sometimes on the blog just to spice things up). I like living in truth, being an example of truth, and believing in the truth other people show me. Truth to me isn’t about the words coming out of your mouth all the time, but mostly about how you live and act. I live and act in kindness but so many can’t believe in that and it just gets to me.
After writing out my feelings, I am no longer as fed up as I was. It’s important to keep some kind of fire as long as it’s healthy and productive. I might still be upset and a little hurt by society as a whole expecting the worst but my healthy anger will fuel me to continue to prove them wrong.
Be the change you want to see in the world. Thank you Gandhi, I will.