Stop Drooling

imageMy two most popular posts are Man loving Thug and Animal Soup. Not because they are overly deep or well written, but simply because they feature photos ripped from online to illustrate the point I wanted to make.  When a person searches for images such as those on the two posts, they find my site and I get credit for the view.  Since then I’ve decided not to use those kinds of images because I prefer my audience be made of those interested in what I have to say and not the next set of abs or sexy bearded man I use just for the optics.  The reality is sex sells but should I exploit that fact?

You’ll hear often that gay men are the worst when it comes to porn viewing, random sex, or anything salacious. Being of the community I can say we enjoy our sex and objectifying ourselves, but it isn’t a gay thing.  This is a hormone thing plan and simple.  Most men are big old balls of testosterone that just don’t have an interest in controlling that fact in themselves, but not all and after swimming with the sharks in the cesspool I have emerged more and more disinterested in seeing some random attractive man’s body parts that I’ve seen hundreds of times before.  At one point I truly felt I was in the minority of my minority but as time has gone on, I have been surprised at the growing number of gay men that are frustrated with their fellow homosexuals constant need for lust.  Must every conversation turn to “gettin’ it in” with the gentlemen who just walked by, and frankly who isn’t giving you any of his attention?  And for that matter, must we continue to allow straight celebrity figures to line their pockets by showing us their body every other day (currently it’s Nick Jonas) and exploit our need for that sexual injection as if it’s caffeine for the body; while their seemingly principled stand for gay rights can become overshadowed and called into question (and yes they could 100% believe in the equal rights they speak about)?

That was a long sentence above but I’m pretty anger.  I have subscribed on Facebook to gay publications like The Advocate,, and Instinct.  The fact is they offer great information about issues in the community that national media just aren’t concerned about.  But I have been increasingly agitated by our own community pushing alcoholism and lust for the sake of lust. I am aware the alcohol industry was one of, if not our only source of cooperate revenue and still is one of the tops, but times are changing. Our fight for marriage equality, adoption, and non-discrimination laws could possibly be derailed because the prevalent image that we circulate ourselves is one of sex and body.  Many are just overjoyed by Connor Walsh on the ABC show ‘How to Get Away with Murder’ played by Jack Falahee. This character has sex with men to get information for cases, sex just because he’s horny, sex in public bathrooms and with partnered men.  This is the image of gay men currently being sent to the masses and our community publications are in love with that?  Don’t say shit to me.

I’ve even had conversations with my gay elders who defend bath houses, Folsom, and sex parties.  They, and I am referring to those I have spoken with, contend the accurate culture of the gay community is nothing more than sexual freedom.  Their position is we shouldn’t model ourselves after hetero ideals.  We should be out there and purposefully different imageespecially now, seeing as in their generation it wasn’t okay to be gay or as openly gay as we are now.  In their generation they were releasing pent-up sexual desires they were forced to hide and only let out at the bath house, public stalls or wherever they could because it was so difficult to find a gay man due to the times.  But I contend that behavior while maybe necessary then isn’t now.  I will contend we are reaping the benefits from that freedom and daring stance and action they took, but we can’t in any way say we aren’t reaping the consequences as well, and I am not talking about HIV only.  This is more than anything an image problem and a culture of sex and parties that does nothing for us in the long run.

I had my fun.  I’m not being a hypocrite because I do feel young people need to enjoy their twenties and mess up a lot.  Experience is the best teacher but you have to pay attention as well.  It’s all about balance in life and the universe and yes I found the balance with more conscious gay publications out there and across the internet that give me the informed stance to stay in love with my gay community, but I was almost ashamed of us.  And when I see still the mainstream views of us, and how we not only allow it but revel in it, well it makes me weep.

So yeah bitch please stop drooling.  Seriously you have seen plenty of naked men, washboard abs, muscle daddies, otters, pandas, BBC, etc to last a lifetime.  Now how about making that lifetime count for something.image



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