Repression…Life or Death?

It’s no secret we live in a world where repression is the status quo.  Often times we get a hint of freedom and we let our wild side take over only to put it back inside once the reality of life gets back into us. But if you lived completely absent rules and control, are you really living or on the edge of death and destruction?

We act in prescribed categories that we adopt through public influences. We take everything that is assigned to us from gender, orientation, to social class, sexual appeal, etc exposing us to a life of ambivalence.We act in a reasonable and recognizable fashion to live without problems and accept these conditions that devalue and negate our true selves out of self-preservation.  We do it to stay under the radar and survive; and some times when we are cognitive of what we actually are doing, we revolt and allow thought and ideas to change our perception. Until that happens we deceive ourselves about what path will truly lead to a more or less better life.

To be yourself is a hard thing. Being a gay man, I made the decision to step out from the assigned role I was given from birth.  I looked at what my heart and mind was telling me and went against self-preservation in favor of self-preservation. I wasn’t going to be able to live a happy, sane, true existence conforming to a hetero life.  I’m not alone either. I commend the transgender, out and proud, drag queens, hippies, protesters,and many others that chose to be true to themselves in spite of the dangers.

And lets look at the artist and the dreams. Society looks down on those not making or trying to attain a six figure salary, and dare to drive a ten-year old car and last years fashions. Anything that is recognized as outside the box is dangerous. The few that make being an outsider somehow inside are revered by all with the dreamers hoping they can me next.When society says follow your dreams, you have to wonder if they are being genuine.

Repression is a learned skill that has purpose. It does stop most from making foolish destructive decisions but it also stops us from enjoying everything life has to offer. So what should we do? We need to unlearn the safety that categories play in our lives. The strong know this lesson. You can find the balance of what is expected and unexpected or decide to pick a side.

I’m a dreamer. My lifestyle is hard but I’m fulfilled because I do what I love to do. I’m not rich and probably will never be. I have huge dreams and my success in life will be had by unconventional means. I no longer have a desire to play to anyone’s rules or expectations. Your version of success or happiness have no meaning to me. I’m living for me and it my be unconventional but at least I’m not repressed. Well just a little.


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