Work on yourself first then you will be ready for a relationship. Love will come when you least expect it. We’ve all heard these lines a few times in our lives but what do they really mean? What kind of work on one’s self must be done before one can enjoy the love from another? I’ve been wrestling with questions like these for more time then I’d like to admit but finally, I think I’ve got it.
It is a nice idea to not want to burden someone as you try to find your path and purpose in the world. Some would say it wouldn’t be a fair situation to date knowing you have money problems, living issues, hell maybe no plan for your life at all. Why ask someone else to join in and maybe have to take on some of the responsibilities of putting you together? I’ll answer that in just a minute.
For each one of us, it’s important to know what you feel makes a relationship work. Once that has been established you must see if you are able to give what you are asking to receive as well. If the answer is yes then go for it. If the answer is no then take the time to make yourself the kind of partner you are looking for.
There does seem to be an emphasis on money as a factor to be ready for a relationship. Money is needed for just about everything in this world and the lack of money can hinder plans for excitement and even regular basic survival. This kind of stressor often times makes or breaks even the most loving relationship so one most determine if money is a major factor for them or not.
Everything boils down to what you feel is most important in a relationship and money isn’t it for me. A relationship is about love. Love doesn’t care if you are rich or poor, fat or skinny, black or white, it just cares about your heart. When people say love isn’t enough, it’s because they have placed other things about love. Love for them was never going to sustain them because the cars, houses, trips aboard, hot body, etc held a higher place on what they decided made a relationship.
I’m a hopeless romantic. I’ve dated rich men, poor men, fat men, short men, even men I didn’t find completely attractive. My dating history was about my need for love. I just wanted it so bad I didn’t care who it came from and look at me now…single. The work I needed to do was to love myself and know that love might have to be enough from me. I had to not be afraid to be single and while I hate ever minute of it, I’m still oddly okay with it because I know other joys that are enough for me.
I asked a question on Facebook the other day about coming to grips with wanting a relationship and knowing you should wait? I still want one even if I’m still working on me. A friend said to wait if you are still working on yourself and another said work on each other together. I gave it some thought and I like the latter. No one is perfect or ever will be perfect. No one will ever be completely finished learning about themselves and the world. But a relationship is a partnership. If one person is weak in an area, the other should be able to strengthen them, becoming the perfect couple. Love is about energy, spirit and just plain instinct. Being on the same level on intelligence, economic status, physical appeal are helpful but shouldn’t ruin the pure nature of love. But love and being in a relationship are true different things; and in deciding if you are ready for love, you also have to decide if you are ready for a relationship.
When I say I’m ready I mean my heart is open, my spirit is warm and I have enough to give that my partner will know and feel love every moment. I can’t buy them a big screen TV, but I can make their heart skip a beat.