You could have asked

Ever been dumped because the other guy said ” You deserve better,” or ” I just don’t think I can give you what you want.” I know I have with a whole host of reasons that are about what I want and deserve. They feel that they aren’t on my level or that I have crafted an idea of what I want for a relationship that they can not live up to. Here’s the thing, they never asked me a damn thing.

It always gets to me how people assume so much about the wants and desires of their partner.  My last boyfriend was an amazing guy in the respect that he loved to open doors for me, carry luggage when we traveled, and pamper me.  He got mad however when I wanted to do more for myself, saying how most would love the kind of treatment he gave to me.  Problem is he didn’t ask me if I enjoyed those things. He assumed he knew how I wanted to be treated in the relationship but he was wrong causing more harm than good.

Relationships are about communication. Sometimes all the best intentions in the world can cause extreme damage if the motives are clouded by assumptions, hopes and dreams. You can’t conduct a relationship the same way with each person you date.  Things need to be specific to the situation but sometimes it’s hard to know without asking.  As uncomfortable as it may be, asking straight up is the best way not to misstep in a relationship and in life. So what does it all mean? Very simple. Open your mouth.

When a guy feels insecure and assumes he’s not good enough for me, I tend to let him feel that way.  It takes a lot of work to change someone’s mind in that area and in the end, it’s not that he isn’t good enough but we for sure are not a match.  If a guy thinks I deserve better I just say okay.  I don’t know what deserving has to do with being happy. I’m just living the moment and enjoying what life brings my way. But with that said, I can’t argue with someone who thinks truly that they don’t deserve me.

I’m an open book and in relationship you have to be. Stop assuming and ask.  Trust that your partner will be honest or has already been honest with how they feel about you and the relationship.

Finally, break up with someone because the relationship isn’t working for you not the other person.  Personally,don’t do me any favors.


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