, , , , , , ,

When I was younger, I always felt like I was more mature than my peers.  I never really enjoyed all the same things as those my age. In high school my friends were always older, and when I started dating I preferred older men as well.  Lately I’ve been associating with some new friends that are in their 20s and mature like I was but I’m feeling a mature 20somthing is more oxymoron than truth( WARNING: Judgmental blog post coming).

As you get older, you tend to look at your past more and more, wondering sometimes what could you have done differently or being happy and proud of the choices you made.  For me, I mostly let the past go, realizing the great things I have now I wouldn’t have if I changed things that happened in the past, good or bad. But in associating with these younger friends, I saw myself at their age.  Some had a wit I had and still have. Some I saw hope that helped to reignite my own hope. And yes some had pain; the same pain I had and I saw my chance to help them avoid some of my struggles.

In the end I had to let them go, realizing I was holding on to my past more than I knew. Luckily, some left me, realizing the lifestyle of a 20something and my current path were not a match. But the main thing I learned was these young men, while mature in some areas, were still young.  The still loved to get hammered at the club, which they wanted to go as much as possible.  These young men had no idea how to save money and make their way in life to be a productive adult.  They were still raging and I was well beyond that. No matter if they read the NY Times daily(and somehow can complete the crossword), or how many intellectual conversations they have(null and void if they occur after smoking a blunt) they still have the heart of a 20something and it will come out at some point and should.

Maturity happens over time and with life experience. Even someone who grew up with a hard life, forced to make adult decisions still lacks the seasoning that comes with age.  No mater what, you are young, associating with young people and it’s only natural to want to act your age. Why deny yourself the wreckless 20s we all get to have?  It’s not to say ruin your credit, drink all the time, get high, etc, in an effort to be young and crazy.  You can still be young and temper the damage that can happen. But realize you shouldn’t be in too much of a hurry to be “MATURE”. And before I have a youth in revolt situation, Age doesn’t mean maturity by any means, but maturity takes time to master.

And listen to your elders. We might just have some tricks on how you rage responsibly.