How dare you flirt.

I’m currently in a new relationship that is full of laughs and good times.  The energy is amazing and it’s a relaxed relationship unlike almost all the relationships I’ve been in from the past. So I decided to take him out to the club the other day just to do something different. It was yet another nice time until as we were leaving  I got a funny feeling.  One of my friends I was with asked me to call him when I was alone later that night.  I didn’t understand why at first.  My hope was he wanted to say nice things about my new boyfriend but that hope was dashed in the parking lot of the club.

Listening to my intuition, I asked me boyfriend if something happened.  He confessed with very little prodding he thought my friend was attractive and even fondled his chest a bit when I was dancing. It dawned on me that was the information I was going to receive from my friend later and I needed to figure some things out quick.  I asked my boyfriend if he gave my friend his number, and he responded no. I asked my boyfriend are you going home with me, and he responded yes.  I told him that it’s all good.  To be honest I found many men at the club very attractive and if given the opportunity my hand might have grazed a lower part of their anatomy but alas, my boyfriend got the honor that night.

So it raises all kinds of issues. Is it okay to flirt in a relationship? I say yes as long as it doesn’t hit a disrespectful level. He didn’t go off in a corner with my friend. He didn’t avoid me or not show me affection.  And again he went home with me.  The next time he will even see my friend is when we go out again which we don’t do that often.

Some would be angry and flirting would cause a rift in the relationship. I can understand as the flirting could be a sign of problems in the current relationship. Personally I find a little flirting healthy and normal. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean you no longer see others as attractive.  It isn’t realistic to think the blinders will go on even if you are dating a cover model.  There is always someone else who is more attractive.  The way to handle things is of course communication and some anger make up sex.

I would have preferred him not to lust after my friend but he grabbed his chest a bit.  He kissed my biceps( they are getting bigger each workout) and again went home with me.  The anger sex is on the way.


3 thoughts on “How dare you flirt.

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  1. “Flirting” is verbal. “Groping” is physical. That said, I find it interesting that YOU had to “ask” your boyfriend if something happened and it was then he shared…what if you’d not asked? Would this have then been between him and your friend?

    Take into consideration this…what ‘if’ your friend were attracted to your boyfriend, enough to ‘entertain’ his advances. Taking it further, lets say your friend didn’t tell you he wanted to ‘talk to you’ later that night. Would your position of ‘entertaining’ his ‘flirting” be the same?

    Call it what you want. We ‘see’ what we want and make accomodations also, for what we ‘see.’


  2. While it is okay to flirt with a complete stranger, flirting with your friend IS NOT cool. Especially physically touching him, I think that is disrespectful. I consider my friends my brothers and we’ve know sach other for years. So my boyfriend “feeling up” my brother is a “no go”. Flirting is teetering on the line of disrespect if you are partnered, but if you have an open relationship then all of that goes out of the window. Also the next time all of you are out its going to be awkward because he is probably ashamed of his actions and I’m sure that feeling of “uneasiness” will be apparent amongst the group. Luckily you have a friend with integrity if he told you and those types of friends are a dime a dozen. I’m curious to know if this guy was not your friend how far would the flirting have gone. Maybe the only reason it didn’t progress is because your boyfriend knew that he WAS your friend. Is this your prelude to some major DRAMA? I guess you will have to wait and see…


  3. Definitely agree that a little flirting can be healthy and normal, it kinda happens sometimes and could help build the attraction to each other within the relationship. What’s allowed I feel would depend on personality and trust. If someone is usually timid and in their own world, but is all of a sudden willing to touch someone else’s body, then that would be a red flag, as opposed to someone who’s always been touchy-feely with everyone they interact with. For some any form of touching would be off limits, while for others it would be ok as long as they don’t exchange numbers/go home together. Each individual will have to determine what’s ok for them and their partners.


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