Half of what you want.

I had coffee with a new friend that I met online( hook up sites can be for friendship too), who was mixed African American and Asian.  I was reading an article on the lack of presence of people of color in the gay community.  Suddenly he mentioned an occasion when he tried to converse with a gentlemen who had a preference towards Asian men, they declined to talk to him because he was also half African American. Nevermind that his look resembled that of an Asian man, the fact that he wasn’t full-blown Asian he was less desirable.

Fast forward to another friend of mine who only dates white men. This came under issue after the last two hook ups he had involving men who were mixed. One was Asian and White but because he looked more White, he was interested in him. The other was chopped full of nuts, Native American, German, Hispanic and Italian. He actually had a dark completion that resembled that of an East Indian decent, yet because he had some white in him, he was interested.

My final example is my half Black, half white friend.  His complexion is of a light one that you can tell he is mixed but the make up could be anything. He has told me he gets quite a bit of attention but once he reveals his racial mix, a distance seems to form with those who prefer anything other than Black.

For the record, the emphasis on race and ethnicity drives me crazy. The character of a man can’t be that easily defined. If true love and connection is what you are looking for, skin color should be the furthest from your mind.  Yes there is a likelihood that those of the same ethnic background would have similar values and interests, to discount them for what your unknowingly perceive limits your view of the world and your chances to find true love.  Love can’t be controlled with a checklist or misinformation.   Only when you let go and let live can the true power of love really take hold and bring you want is waiting for you.

I’m left wondering if because of the societal view of Black people in America colors the opinion of those mixed with Black. It seems if one is mixed with anything else other than black, they have no problem attracting those with narrow race requirements. I really don’t know but my hope is for the world to one day be so mixed, race wont be an issue at all. And a recent article I just read confirmed that interracial marriages are on the rise around the world.  That day I speak of is only a generation or two away.  I just wish it would infiltrate the gay community sooner.  How can a group scream for equality and still push some to a less visible and undesirable status? Food for thought.


One thought on “Half of what you want.

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  1. I do not believe that your message completely portrays the reason why the men in our culture are so particular in what they want. It not just the shade of color in some ones skin that prevents gay men to talk to another gay man so you cannot bring up the age old race issues that have haunted our country for hundreds of years.

    The issues that you and your friends are having with the gay men of the area are the same for those of same race as well. People are rude when it comes to appearance period, especially the men on hook up sites. They want a particular look for their fantasy and you cannot exactly blame them for that. There are men who will not talk to me because I am white, because I am 35, and because I am overweight. There are too many picky factors that these men are looking for to chalk it down to just one.


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