I have a friend who is searching hard for a man. He dates all the time but still comes up short when finally finding Mr. Right. But it has come to my attention that he is a bit slutaous. Some have the three date rule before they sleep with a man, others wait longer and some are first date offenders. Then there are some that love a hook up with no possibility of a relationship. Nothing wrong with any of it but if you truly want a relationship, you have to put that in the universe and sleeping around isn’t the way to go. As soon as you get the reputation of being an easy lay or as the boys on Jersey shore would say–DTF, the likelihood of finding a real husband is greatly reduced as word spreads of your spreading legs.
As a young naive gay man, I thought I had to be easy to get men to stay interested in me. I was a first date offender hoping to change things into a real relationship. Most times it wasn’t even a date, as a movie at their place was always code for a hook up, but again at sixteen in age I didn’t know. The sad part is sometimes it did work and I was able to have a somewhat nice relationships, so as I grew older I continued the same pattern hoping the next lay would be the one. I’m still single.
So I changed the game and went to the three date rule. Let’s just say it’s hard in the gay community to get to three dates. I’ve gone on amazing first dates that were full of laughter, touching, smiles, and even plans for a second date. Then phone calls are less frequent and suddenly that second date was hard to confirm. Finally you find out because there was no happy ending, there will not be a happily ever after either. So I changed back again but for a very short time.
The truth is the guys you have to sleep with to even have a chance at a relationship aren’t the guy for you. They have prioritized sex over love and don’t really fit your style if love is your ultimate goal. And you can’t turn a ho into a housewife unless you have money and are blind to the fact they will be cheating on you. The fact is, when you stamp “no slut activities” on your forehead, you have a better chance finding that like-minded man. If you are well-known in the community for being open to sex before love, the good men will not be looking for you. Can too overly sex men create a happy home..of course. Remember they are like-minded. But if you are love minded, close your damn legs, and open your heart.