Most would say there is no justification for cheating and I can agree, but as an admitted cheater, I wanted to give my side of the story. I’m aware cheating is not a good thing. It’s hard for me to say that since I have the believe that good and bad are subjective. As a society we make sweeping judgments and group together ideas of good and bad that are only true because the majority says so. I’ll be diving into that topic on a later post. As it pertains to cheating, the lying is what makes cheating an act that should be avoided.
So those times I myself cheated, the relationship was on its last leg. I was feeling I needed to break things off but because of the fear of being lonely I would instead meet potential new men, hoping I could make an easy transition to my next relationship. The sex came into play because, well they were hot and being in a relationship where sex was on a down turn and having a new shiny man interested in pleasing you, well let’s say it’s hard to say no. I can say I would often times end the relationship right after the sex would occur but I would be lying if I said I did it each time. The times where I did were the ones that yes, I would become involved with the cheating party right after the fact, again to reduced the time in which I was single.
I never just saw a guy and cheated. When my relationship was solid I saw no other men. Everyone to me looked unappealing and I was in the love haze. It’s also not to say that I would because noticing others once the relationship hit a rough patch. I’m a fighter for love. When I decide I’m going to make a go with someone I do what it takes. Communication is always the key and I’ve learned to make sure those lines are clear and utilized. If it becomes clear that no amount of talking and re-evaluations will work to keep us together, those are the times my eyes would wander. Yes I should have just ended things, but again my self-esteem and insecurities wouldn’t allow it.
So there ya go. That’s my story. I can tell you cheating is a very common thing. Most people cheat because they are sure they wont get caught. Most don’t cheat because of the risk of losing what they have. Take away the risk and come on, everyone would do it. The idea of that hot guy you’ve had your eye on becoming yours for the evening with no risk to the love you have waiting for you at home, be honest with yourself.
Will I cheat again? Nope. My recent relationships have strengthen me to know when to leave and when to stay. My self growth has also given way to what I know I truly need in a relationship to be happy, and it isn’t sex. I’m an emotional guy. Feed my soul and spirit and I’ll be yours forever. And my stomach because I love to eat.