Twin dating. I love myself that much.


I have to say it was one of my numerous naive moments when I realized a lot of men dating a mirror image of themselves.  From the height of the man, the hair style, tattoos in the same spot, and even dressed alike; I seriously found it a bit weird to see twin dating. When I continued into the world of gay dating and subsequently online dating, profiles seemed to illustrate this twin dating syndrome was an epidemic in our community.  It’s no longer Ken and Barbie, the ideal couple but Ken and Ken made from the same factory.

I personally don’t want to date myself and it’s not to say I’m not worth dating. I prefer something different, someone I can learn something from and be able to appreciate  they features are something new.  It’s also important to point out I’m not as look-centric as other men so finding my mirror image isn’t as much as a priority. So why seek out someone who you already see each morning when you wake up? Is it ego and complete narcissism that pulls men to be attracted to themselves?  Is it a bit incestuous?

I feel it’s for sure narcissism but also a comfortableness in dating someone who looks just like you.  You can assume they have the same interests and values as you do, as well as habits that can hopefully sustain a relationship. Dating is already stressful and if one can make it easier by eliminating risk and uncertainty, why not?

Personally I see it as taking the mystery out of romance and the journey of dating. It’s about discovery. You can discover new things in the world as well as new things in yourself by dating a person that isn’t the same mentally and physically as you.  It’s the fun part to explore in dating with differences that can even scare you.  The unknown helps you to grow and that growth makes you even more attractive to that special person.

But who am I to judge? Just thought I would share my observation and see if I was alone in my thinking.


11 thoughts on “Twin dating. I love myself that much.

Add yours

  1. Maybe I’m the overly analytic one but maybe its the psychological tendency of people to like people who are similar to themselves? While some of us find people who are similar to us along an intellectual or philosophical axis attractive perhaps these guys being the guys they are, visually stimulated, are just stuck on the wrapping versus the content? Its definitely an interesting observation and it is clearly found in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. Good eye for catching this btw, and kudos for writing about it, its definitely sparked an interesting conversation.


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  3. To me, this “twin dating” bit is a little weird. I can’t for the life of me imagine why anyone would want to have a mirror image of themselves, nor how the same look could possibly make for a better relationship than others.
    Sure, we all have our preferences in looks, but why someone just like you would be so desirable is odd to me; & from my perspective variety in all things in life makes it far more exciting & enjoyable, so any such limitations would be terribly frustrating. Maybe that’s the key, now that i say it — maybe many guys just don’t want anything new or to be challenged in any way, so choosing someone who at least looks just like them somehow feels like they don’t have to face their own issues? I don’t know, but other than to give others a laugh i can’t figure why someone would want to limit themselves in this way, unless it’s narcissism pure & simple.


  4. I have always found this phenomenon interesting and have noticed it often extends to the heterosexual community as well. I, too, tend to be more attracted to guys who have qualities opposite those I possess, particularly physical qualities. For example I’m tall and smooth and am consistently drawn to men who are short and furry. Beyond the initial attraction, however, I seek someone more similar in sensibility to myself. I agree with the idea that whatever works for you is fine. It is interesting to observe, though.


  5. It is unfortunate that in the new year and at this point in time the same ridiculous, idiotic, dare I say ignorance, continues to abound within our community. Why is it that when someone expresses themselves, hoping to encourage dialogue, contribute alternate opinions and even, again, dare I say, empower you “John,” to participate in a meaningful, mature, intelligent conversation, all that can come from you are expletives, lack of consideration and condescension?

    How about this, “John”…YOU find the time to learn the difference between the noun “critique” and noun “observation,” rather than express – very poorly I might add – ridiculous banter. This was NOT presented as the verb context of the word “critique” (critiquing) but more over a simple, basic noun, “observation” with commentary. This because you can not “critique” an opinion…you present and express an “observation.”

    That said, on to the topic at hand…if one is to align themselves with another, there must be degree of “likeness” or commonalities. To the end of “Twin dating” I believe (this is what we call an observation “John”) that for some, interests, motivations, etc. is a desirous component. The immediate example, for me is a guy who works out regularly. Typically, these types are attracted to OTHER guys who work out, because they themselves know the detection, consistency, motivation, commitment needed to obtain a muscular physique. From the initial meeting, you KNOW this individual has the “ability” to “commit” to something.

    Your point speaking to “narcism” is interesting…I have always dated opposites, but have also dated individuals who possess similar characteristics to myself (those types NEVER work out for me). For me, a combination of the two work. With others, it may work. I think (another observation “John”) that as you date different people, you find what works for you. “Twin dating” may be, for some, their only option…for others a choice…for others, something else.

    The point being…do what works for you. Life is a process where you win some and you loose some. At the end of the day though, if you find something (“Twin dating,” “Muscle man dating,” “Twink dating,” “Muscle bear dating,” “Leather dating..”) that works for you, GO with it! Just, be happy!


  6. Here’s a novel Concept… Rather than a judgement or an opinion about something, inspite of it being some what novel, exotic, beyond the realms of what would be agreed upon as normal; take a break and a step back and leave issues like this one alone.

    Or is that you really are that hard up to come up with a dating/social/sex life of your own, that you find more easy to critiques what others do as a values judgement???

    My one though to you, is: Fuck you!! Then get a life of your own!!!


    1. Thank you for your comment. Like your comment, we are all free to express our opinions. I’m deciding to write a blog to share my thoughts. It would be great if you can do the same and get dialogue going like myself.


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