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There is a great song by Jazime Sullivian called “Famous.” In the song she talked about the dream of having it all. She mentions wanting the girls to see her and dream to be like her because she is famous.  She talks about the pain of wanting is so bad and all she would do to be famous. I know exactly how she feels but hearing that song truly changed everything for me.

There aren’t many people alive who don’t hope to be rich and famous.  I can’t say isn’t all about the actual fame but I’m pretty sure it’s about the money and labels.  I am a huge Sex and the City fan and dammit I would have loved to afford to shop, go to fashion week, go to premiere parties and opening, etc.  Being famous, even locally, can afford you so much but getting there is the real struggle. I’m less talking about the sacrifices and more about the pain of not achieving.  All the singers, actors, models who are struggling to make it can attest to the pain that comes when you don’t get that call back.  It truly sucks.

I’m a novelist with completed works and a drawer of rejection letters from publishers.  I stopped my craft for years because I couldn’t see myself making it.  Of course if you are truly creatively included it’s almost impossible to stop all thoughts and actions but the dreams of making it big, being on Ophran’s book club soon fade away.

And what of those who aren’t creatively blessed?  They watch the same commercials as we do telling them you aren’t cool unless you have the latest fashions and gadgets. They have no hopes of actually becoming rich and famous but with the desire still being pushed on them, they spend beyond their means, rocking the latest Jordans and eating Ramon noodles(I love Ramon noodles btw).

I listened to that song and all I hear is pain and stress. Craving to be famous and known, and all I want to do is stop the madness. I went through what I call as “The Purge”. I cleared out so much of my material belongings then my mental cravings to get to t he real.  I don’t want to be famous but I want to be heard. I want to be important and I already am.  I have what fame brings you, what labels make you feel; special and loved because I have great friends and family and I have a voice.

I will be published and even if two people read and love my work, I did what I set out to do. If I become huge and get a major deal you won’t find me in Paris shopping or living the Kardanshian life( what the hell do they really do). I am already famous just like you.