Man loving Thug
The Homo thug has garnered a lot of interest. He has become the fetish to most, the scapegoat for many, and the bane of existence for some. What I can’t understand is why people don’t understand the ‘Homo thug’ is just a regular thug who just happens to like men? Why complicate things as if liking men means you can’t also carry around a “hood mentality”. Let’s discuss.
I’ve met many black gay men who live in the hood. They sell drugs to get by, play ball in their free time and have no desire to leave the hood. One of the last men I’ve dated came to visit me and seriously was looking for a hood he could relax in. When I stayed at his home I remember hearing gun shots one night I was sleep, and another night he walked across the street to score some weed.
The point I’m trying to make is the only difference between him and the other men in the hood was he and I were in a relationship. He might have had a little sissy in him when we hit the gay club but he was all man. He had a presence and most even knew he was gay but that was his hood and his life. He grew up on the streets and knew how the streets worked. He was a survivor and just happen to like men. So why can’t he just be a thug or just a gay man?
It’s all about a fetish. The idea of an over masculine and dangerous man dominating you can often times bring a high. Fantasies are all about an image and who wants the image of a regular man? The problem comes when the regular man is expected to act as if he is a thug just to get a chance. When you meet a guy and instead of a backwards cap and baggy jeans, your clothes actually fit and say Express; they are completely disinterested because of the image they were expecting. That’s when the fantasy has destructive powers, and it’s a syndrome I know all too well.
I’m a black gay man but by no means a thug. There are plenty of gay black men from the hood you can indulge in but I wont be your fetish. Let it go and just be real with your heart.
Posted on January 20, 2012, in Fake Men, gay issues, Race and tagged black, desire, fetish, gay, homo, hood, thug. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.
So true!!!
So insightful and awesome. I dated a guy similar to this. I wish there was more exposure to different types of gay men like this publicly because the public thinks we are all a bunch of nelly sissies.
Wasn’t it the “nelly sissies” and drag queens, who took a stand at Stonewall ? “nelly sissies” who didn’t just “wish ‘there was.. “other types of of (acceptable) gay men” ..to stand up and say ENOUGH. Why should any gay person care what the ignorant, homophobic, public thinks. How can one gay person say to another..’dont be such a nellie sissie’. I’m pretty sure nellie sissy doesn’t rub off.
If one is honest and open about who You are, you are going to be seen! No one can change how others see you and No ONE should change who they honestly are. Praise for the above article coming from someone who Fails to recognise one’s own homophobia is faint praise at best and very sad to observe in another gay person.